You won't remember

Write it down

I’m always writing things down in random places.

In an email draft with no recipient. On the back of a utility bill envelope. In an Apple Note. An untitled Google Doc. I find tiny chicken-scratch scribbles on neon post-it notes…on my desk, the bathroom vanity, the forgotten pocket of a backpack.

I have a beautiful green spiral notebook with premium-weight paper. But it’s never next to me.

So instead when an idea strikes, I’m left with whatever’s in front of me. And when it comes time to compile those ideas into an essay, I send myself on a self-induced scavenger hunt through my house and the maze of my digital apps to gather the fragments.

But it’s not just where I’m putting the ideas. It’s also when they come.

Most often, it’s at night, when I finally lay down. It’s as if a vault unlocks. Thoughts pour out, fast and effortless. The sentences form themselves, perfectly crafted, full of rhythm and tone.

Maybe it’s because, for the first time all day, my body is still. Calm.

That’s when the ideas arrive. But by then, I’m already warm and cozy in my bed, the soft hum of the monitor nudging me toward sleep.

I’ll remember it, I think. Of course I will.

Then morning comes.

I’m blank.

The thought is gone, vanished like vapor.

I try to retrace it: replay my position in bed, replay the moment, the feeling, the spark.

Nothing.

I don’t remember. I can’t bring it back.

So I place a pad of paper on my nightstand. I swear I won’t let it happen again.

Next time, I’ll write it down… unless I fall asleep first.