Where are the wipes?

...and the nanny?

The baby was sleeping alright, but the past few nights I couldn’t turn off the to-do list.

Did the kindergarten paperwork come through and I missed it? Did insurance cover the rabies shot? Did I lock the van door? Have we booked our flights to Wilmington?

And most pressing: who the hell is going to watch my baby.

The nanny we’d hired to start full time this week let us know she’d found her dream job in publishing.

When she told me she was leaving at the end of the month, I wanted to joke, “Is it because you found my Substack?” But instead I congratulated her, wished her well, thanked her for finishing out January.

I hung up the phone and immediately sent emails, drafted posts, texted friends and neighbors.

Does anyone have experience watching children?

Does anyone want to watch my child?

Were you once a child?

I need someone who shows up on time and looks the baby in the eye. Someone who talks to him as the daily routine unfolds. I need someone who can navigate a wake window and understand tired cues. I need someone who can calm a crying baby when they miss the former.

I need someone who cares for my sweet baby, who is obviously both perfect and adorable.

Can it be that hard? Why is it so hard?

And seriously, why are there so many effing packs of opened wipes in my house? And why, when I’m in the process of changing the baby’s diaper, can I not find even one of those packs?